Zuppka's Guide to Catching Pokemons

So there are three big theories that can get actual Pokemon, in our world. Sounds too Farfetch'd, well then keep reading.

Theory 1:

The first method is the simplest of them all, but at the same time the least effective. Basically, this method involves bioengineering a 'Pokemon' from scratch, completely designing an organism from the lab. Sounds easy, as we have Pokedex's of information. Appearance wise, not such a hard task. Internal organs, harder, but still possible with careful planning. Drawbacks? Programming the mind. That's where you would have to program some sentience into the lifeforms, even if it is to repeat its own name. Digimon on the other hand...

Alright so you manage to get a working body and mind. What about its attacks? Time to redesign your creation for specific body parts capable of using attacks and the knowledge how. Great you made a Mudkip, or a amped up mouse. But what about Pokemon that do not have related species in this world? Ghosts, rock snakes and others with forms that do not fit in our world? Well, then we take a step towards theory 2 or as I like to call it "Dimensional-Warp-Device-via-Collapsed-Matter-with-Particle-Beam-Shot-at-It." It gets even more technical than this.

Theory 2:

This involves a finite sized containment field, or some sort of dome to hold in all the dimensional rifts. First, get a dome shaped container, preferable an archway with a rounded closed backing. Next, find a large chunk of incredible dense material (preferably synthetic, or a metal alloy, but pure lead may work). Create an anti gravity device to be able to lift the material into the center of the arch. Or you can apply gravitational force from all sides as to keep it afloat in the center (like many magnets pushing on one object from all sides). This is the tricky bit. The material must be compressed to the point of collapsing on itself. This can be done by increasing the gravitational 'push' surrounding the object, keeping the mass the same, but decreasing its volume, hence increasing its density.

Quick note, in theory, any object can be turned into a black hole. If a tomato for example is compressed to the size of a pin, it has the potential of becoming a black hole. This is what we aim to do. Since the material is dense to begin with, it will not need to be enormous in size, but large enough to 'shrink' it with relative ease.

So you have a a mass about to become a mini black hole and rip apart your newly bought archway. What do you do now? Well assuming your arch is properly equipped to withstand high impact, high-velocity particles, with a variety of protective shields and fail safe devices (basically stuff the archway with technical goodies and attach it to the already stressed out power supply), you would now fire a particle beam at the mass. Not now! But when it is just on the verge of collapsation, just as it begins to pull timespace from around it, formulating said black hole' you fire your beam. Now this beam alone can sprout hundreds of new theories, but lets assume it fires particle 'X' at near light speed. Said beam should also be tuned to the right frequency of the dimension you are trying to tap into (we strayed from the Pokemons, as this can lead to everywhere). After using your high-tech switch board and are tuned to the correct frequency (best done by trial and error), you fire the particle beam.

Theoretically, the particles would rip through the area unstable in its timespace, displacing the other particles so fast, its like they where never there. The black hole then gets confused, as it cannot continue. Why? Because it requires additional matter! So it grabs it from the area you assigned (the frequency of said dimension), and replaced the lost particles. Now what? Well, half of the particles that where there a minute ago, have now been 'bumped' towards your destination. The unstable 'wormhole' stabilized itself by 'stealing' matter from the other dimension. Question this, do not accept it!

There you go, you have a wormhole! Congrats! But, the other unknown side does not have a fancy arch like your side, and will increase its hole size until it stretches to thin and closes itself. Stabilizing a 'two-way' wormhole will require devices on the other side, long enough for you to 'catch' a Meowth or a few Bidoofs. How are you sure this dimension even exists? Because you thought about it. This can be explained by Zuppka's Theory of Imaginativity discussed at another date.

Theory 2.5:

Similar to theory 2, but instead of collapsation, this involves the theoretical graviton. In a nutshell, its the reason behind gravity; gravity in the form of matter. (correct me if I'm wrong). This theory was actually used in my story. It involves giant gyro magnets; two magnetic rings revolving inside one another, creating a distortion in timespace, or gravity at the least, causing a build of gravitons, zapped by the similar partical beam (though this time positioned just above, at the keystone of the 'arch', firing directly downwards). Like before, the matter is displaced (in this case the gravitons) and a wormhole it born.

Theory 2 considers the Zuppka's Basic Law of TimeSpace as plausible. This theory states that every moment of time has its own dimension, its own universe. Therefore putting together all of timespace from our time cluster would create a zone of infinite frames per second, as every 'particle' of time is registered as a separate universe. A long with other alternate dimensions and their time clusters, there is literally over 9000 dimensions. Maybe even more!

Theory 3:

This method is extremely theoretical (somehow). The devices haven't been planned out yet, as this idea is quite new. It involves the extraction of thought, and 'printing' literally, the object/creature in mind. This allows for extreme customization for those picky Pokemon trainers, who want to develop their creatures personality even further. This method may perhaps work the best in terms of quality, but can be easily abused. Bring on the thought moderators!

This ends it for tonight. I know I may have lost some of you, maybe even at the title *cough* Shan*cough*. So follow these theories and you may end up meeting a Mew or befriending a Butterfree. Who knows, maybe you might even rendezvous with a Renamon if things work out well! This blog post has a many links...

-Zuppka signing off!